I am a person of emotional extremes. I can be up, bouncy, and perky one minute, and the slightest shift in the space-time continuum has me waaaaayyyy…doooowwwnnn…looowwwww the next minute. It’s really quite exhausting.
I seem to do everything in extremes, actually. For instance, I’m never just hot…I’m ROASTING! That’s what we genteel women here in the South call it. Please excuse me while I take a brief pause to fan myself. Whew! Okay, I feel better.
And if one is not hot but roasting, then, one is certainly never cold but FREEEEZING! Yep, that would be me. From one extreme to another.
I do not see tasks in small, manageable portions. I see GIANT, OVERWHELMING, MONUMENTAL, IMPOSSIBLE TO ACCOMPLISH tasks.
On the flip side, when I go after something, you guessed it…to the extreme. When I get fired up about something…look out because I am going after it with both barrels!
The thing is, though, I don’t feel like I accomplish very much. I feel like my whole life is one, big unfinished project. Now, I could get theological here and say, “Yes, it is one big unfinished project. ‘God isn’t finished with me yet,’ and all that,” but, that’s not what I’m talking about.
I get really fired up about stuff, jump in like gangbusters, and then the emotional energy, adrenaline, whatever you want to call it, wears off. Then I am as down as I was up. Negativity sets in, and what excited me before depresses me. I think I need help. Anyone know Dr. Phil’s number because quite honestly if he asked me “How’s that working for ya’?” the answer would have to be, “Not very well.”
Here’s the real kicker in all of this. I do this with my spiritual life as well, and it Drives. Me. CRAZY! I posted before about spiritual depletion. It happens to me on a regular basis. And that’s because I allow it to. I get all excited. God’s showing me things. He’s speaking to me through His Word. I get devotions about things I believe He is telling me. A friend mentions a verse I have read. And so on and so forth! It’s exhilarating! And then I crash.
I don’t have my quiet time one morning. And then another. And then another. One morning turns into a week. I go to church, and worship isn’t the same because I feel disconnected. I feel that way because I am.
Fortunately, Hebrews 13:5 states, “…God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'” Whether I am up or I am down, He doesn’t leave me. He’s always with me. When I seek Him, He’s there. When I don’t seek Him, He’s there.
And, therein lies the answer to my emotional extremism. God, Himself. He is the balance. He made me. He knows me. He loves me. He never leaves me. That is enough.