He Bought the Lie

Update: There is a follow-up to this post that can be read here.

This morning I sat down to watch the news for a few minutes after my husband left for work. I never do this, but for some reason, this morning I did. I guess so I could be prepared for the email from one dear friend and the phone call from another about the news that hit today. Or maybe it was actually yesterday. I'm not sure. For me, it was this morning on the local news. Being from North Carolina and living just outside of Raleigh, Clay is the native son.

I mentioned on my blog on a couple of different occasions that I was a huge fan of Clay Aiken. While I still love his music and love him as we are to love one another in Christ, today my heart is broken over the choices he is making with his life. He has bought into the lie.

The lie that Satan would have us all to believe which is that homosexuality is "who one is." That is simply not true. Homosexuality is a sexual sin just like sex outside of marriage or adultery.

Jesus said when the teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought before Him a woman "caught in the act of adultery," "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." (See John 8:1-11)

I am not throwing stones here. I can not because there was a time in my life when I bought the lie, too. I believed that I needed a guy to like me and be in a relationship with me in order to feel special and loved. I lived my life outside of God's plan.

I was deceived, and yet, still I knew. Deep down inside, I knew. You see, I received Jesus as my Lord and Savior when I was eleven years old. The Holy Spirit has been living inside of me since that time. And even though I allowed the Enemy who "comes to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10) to rob me of an identity that should have come from who I was in Christ, and not who man said I was, I always knew that what I was doing was wrong. It was always there in the back of my mind.

Never once did I say, "This is just who I am." It wasn't "who I was." It was who I was choosing to be. There is a very big difference.

On another note, I think some of those closest to me are amused by my seeming naivete. Having been a fan of Clay since his American Idol days, I often was asked the question about his sexual orientation. I always said that, "No, I didn't think he was gay." And I didn't.

I went to a number of Clay concerts. I have all of his music. You can't listen to O Come, O Come Emmanuel or even more than that watch him sing it live and not believe he has a relationship with the Lord. I cry every time I listen to his version of that song. I cried when I would see him sing it live. It was as if he was worshipping the Lord in song, and we had been allowed to watch.

I am a singer. I was in band. I am learning to play the piano. Music is a passion for me. God created me to be that way. He often speaks to me through music. It moves me. Clay singing a song about the Savior who has brought me out of the pit more than once moved me.

So today, I am very sad. Clay bought the lie just as I once did. It won't bring happiness. I thought I had happy moments, but I was wrong. I fell out of fellowship with the Love of my life. It was a desolate, bereft place to be.

For Clay's sake, and the sake of his son, I hope he finds his way back into that fellowship. I will be praying that it will be so.

Blessings,