I posted yesterday about my experience at She Speaks in 2005. God showed up and showed off. This time was no different. However, I must admit that when asked by someone I sat beside at lunch on Saturday how I was doing, I told them I was feeling a bit weird about the whole thing.
I explained yesterday about the uncertainty I felt about attending. The truth was, I just wasn’t sure if image ministry was actually for me. It seemed like a good fit, and God has given me a knack in this area, but I just couldn’t seem to put my finger on anything concrete.
Friday evening when we met with our evaluation groups for the first time, it was discovered that three of the ladies who were in our group had not requested the image track. Of course, we know now they were most definitely supposed to be in there, and I am so grateful I had the opportunity to meet them and spend time with them!
Anyway, they asked Shari what exactly it meant to be on the image track. She told them it was for women who specifically felt called to speak about beauty and fashion from a Christian perspective to other women. She went on to explain some about her own ministry.
At this point, I wanted to run out of the room. My teaching talk wasn’t about beauty and fashion. Yes, I had signed up for the image track, and I did think that whatever I spoke about should cover that in some form or fashion (pardon the pun), but that was not how things had turned out.
I found it difficult Saturday morning to focus on my breakout sessions. My mind kept drifting which annoyed me because there were some fabulous messages being brought, and I knew I needed to be more in tune. However, I couldn’t get over the disquiet I was feeling about my teaching talk.
I knew I was not going to be able to finish in five minutes. It was a good topic, but it wasn’t a five minute topic. I had travelled this path before, and I did not want to find myself in the same position as last time. I did NOT want to miss the opportunity to deliver a God-honoring message in the time period I had been given. I ran into a couple of different ladies from my evaluation group during the course of the morning and lamented to both of them that I was having difficulty with the time aspect of our talk. They confessed to the same problem but suggested I stop worrying because it would be what it would be. Good advice, but I am nothing if not a tad on the stubborn side. Just ask my husband. Then again, maybe not. At lunch, I made a decision.
I decided that I would skip my afternoon sessions and go back to my hotel room. I didn’t want to miss these fabulous sessions, but since I could order them on CD, I made the decision that that was what I would do. I knew I was in trouble with the talk I had prepared, and it was my desperate hope and prayer that God would provide something else. And oh did He ever!
It was the most amazing thing! The conversation went something like this.
Me: “Um, God, what do you have for me?”
God: “Open your David devotional book (Beth Moore’s 90-day A Heart Like His on David).”
Me: “Where do I start, Lord? I haven’t looked at that book in over a month.” (I have been working on another Bible study.)
God: “Start where you left off last time.”
So that is what I did. I wish I could tell you that inspiration suddenly came flying off the page and leaped into my poor, desperate brain, but, alas, it did not. I was reading in 2 Samuel, Chapter 8. Basically, David defeated everyone he went up against. It was a real shining moment for him. It would have been a real encouragement I’m sure under other circumstances. However, for my purposes, I wasn’t getting it. I didn’t see how this was supposed to give me a talk. BTW, time did not stand still while I was doing this, so as I looked at my watch and tried not to panic, I began praying again.
Me: “Um, God, I’m not seeing it.”
God: “Keep reading.”
So I did. I wish I could tell you how I got from 2 Samuel 8 to Hebrews 12:1, but either I don’t know or I can’t remember. I am unsure which is right. Perhaps what actually happened is God just wanted me to sit still, get into His Word and listen. I did and oh what a return on investment!
Hebrews 12:1, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”
I had my teaching scripture, and God and I went from there. He is so awesome, and I love Him so!